sucks

i am so freaking bored. sometimes xanga just feels to tedious to use. Facebook me!

Currently Listening Old World Underground, Where Are You Now? By Metric Old World Underground, Where Are You Now? see related

FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

i just got in a knock down drag out fight...... with a vending machine. it tried to keep my funyons. so i killed it. and now i am happily eating my funyons and bruising. i have a Facebook now. yay.

Our legal system at work..sort of...

 These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now  published  by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these  exchanges were actually taking place.

 Q: Are you sexually active?
 A: No, I just lie there.
 _______________________________

 Q: What is your date of birth?
 A: July 15.
 Q: What year?
 A: Every year.
 ______________________________________

 Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
 A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
 ______________________________________

 Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
 A: Yes.
 Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
 A: I forget.
 Q: You forget? Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?
 _____________________________________

 Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
 A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
 Q: How long has he lived with you?
 A: Forty-five years.
 _____________________________________

 Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?
 A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
 Q: And why did that upset you?
 A: My name is Susan.
 ______________________________________

 Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult?
 A: We both do.
 Q: Voodoo?
 A: We do.
 Q: You do?
 A: Yes, voodoo.
 ______________________________________

 Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
 A: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
 ___________________________________

 Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
 _____________________________________

 Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
 ______________________________________

 Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
 A: Yes.
 Q: And what were you doing at that time?
 ______________________________________

 Q: She had three children, right?
 A: Yes.
 Q: How many were boys?
 A: None
 Q: Were there any girls?
 ______________________________________

 Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
 A: By death.
 Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
 ______________________________________

 Q: Can you describe the individual?
 A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
 Q: Was this a male, or a female?
 ______________________________________

 Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
 A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
 ______________________________________

 Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
 A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
 ______________________________________

 Q: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
 A: Oral.
 ______________________________________

 Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
 A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
 Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
 A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
 ______________________________________

 Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
 ______________________________________

 Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
 A: No.
 Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
 A: No.
 Q: Did you check for breathing?
 A: No.
 Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
 A: No.
 Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
 A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
 Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
 A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.

wow. that's all i can say about. no wonder we sentance people to 6 consecutive life sentances instead of just saving money by killing them.

bullets are cheaper than prisons.

Currently Listening Broken Boy Soldiers By The Raconteurs Steady As She Goes see related

It's YANKOVIC!!!! Not Yankovich!!!

Okay, i work with about +/- 1,000 nerds all in one building. Ever since Straight outta Lynnwood came out the section next mine has been talking about Weird AL like they freaking know him personally or something. IT MAKES ME SICK!!! They mispronounce his name every time they say it. A few minutes ago i heard some guy talking about how much he Amish Paradise, BUT THEN he says and i quote "Ya know what song i like the best (trying to sound impressive), i like The Night Santa Went Crazy. Yeah, it was on Poodle Hat or the Album before it." The female he was talking to acted all impressed at his stupidity and now she is even dumber for listening to him. anyone who knows anything at all about Weird Al knows that song was on Bad Hair Day. wow buddy, you must have either really liked amish paradise AND NEVER BOUGHT THE ALBUM or had a lot of fun reading the titles and lyrics of songs off of the internet while feebly attempting to increase your sex appeal. Well, good job, pat yourself on the freaking back, you get an S for today. The S is for SUCKS!!! I feel a little better now.

Currently Watching Charmed - The Complete Third Season see related

titles=waste of time

Currently Watching Thank You for Smoking (Full Screen Edition) By Aaron Eckhart, Maria Bello, Cameron Bright, Adam Brody, Sam Elliott, Katie Holmes, David Koechner, Rob Lowe, William H. Macy, J.K. Simmons, Robert Duvall, Kim Dickens, Connie Ray, Todd Louiso, Marianne Muellerleile, Joan Lunden, Eric Haberman, Mary Jo Smith, Rachel Thorp, Jeff Witzke see related